what is it that makes it so hard to talk to each other?

what is it that makes it so hard to talk to each other? and how to break the emotional wall?

Difference in opinion probably is the main reason that makes it so hard to talk to each other. Whenever we have similar thoughts, opinions and view on an issue, it is easier for us to talk to each other because we find that the other party agree with us, they have the same idea that we have. Hence, we will feel that this other person understand us well and we feel more comfortable talking with them. On the other hand, if the other person disagree with us, we might feel offended, or uncomfortable to communicate with him or her. Moreover, we don't know how they will interpret our opinion. Some might accept it, but some might not. In 'Thousand Years of Good Prayers', Mr Shi and his daughter rarely talk to each other, simply because they do not share same opinion.

Besides opinion, one factor contributing to communication failure is maybe because one is not comfortable to talk to another party. They rather not talk about it at all or else, they will end up feeling awkward to the other person. For instance, in the story, Mr Shi tried to help her daughter overcome her sadness, he wanted to know what went wrong with his daughters' marriage but his daughter refused to talk about it as she did not feel comfortable talking to his father regarding her broken marriage. Also in the story, Mr Shi said that, "talking is telling people how you feel about them, and inviting them to tell you how they feel about you", perhaps Mr Shi's daughter find the idea of sharing her feelings with his own father is not a suitable approach to fix their father-daughter relationship. Maybe she finds it's useless to talk about her feelings now as they never talk about it all this while.

A person's background and upbringing may also be one of the factor that makes it so hard to talk to each other. In the story, Mr Shi's daughter was brought up in a language that she never used to express her feelings. She also claimed that her parents never talked even when they were having problem. Thus, she was influenced by her parents' quietness and she too ended up being quiet. Moreover, to some people, they are afraid to share their feelings as others might misinterpret it.

To break the emotional wall, one must put efforts to get to know the other person. As for Mr Shi's case, preferably he should try to talk to his daughter more frequently. However, he shouldn't force her too much as this will only lead to an argument. Besides if he wants to break the wall, he too must open up to his daughter, which means he also need to share his feelings with his daughter. By doing this, his daughter may finds it easier to open up as well, and thus, she will talk too. When both of them are comfortable to share their feelings, then only they can break the wall which separate them all this while. It is important too that they need to understand each other well to avoid any miscommunication. When we know a person well enough then only we know their response and hence, we're able to converse comfortably.