don't let me fall

Things are getting harder these days. I'm not complaining, of course. It's what I have to deal with right now, focusing on my studies. Not only me, I think all of us feels the same way now. Struggling to perform our best, to achieve what we want, flying high. I never thought that I could ever make it to this stage, being here with bunch of brilliant students surrounding me.

In short, my life has changed a lot.
I used to be a carefree person who did not worry about my marks so much as I did now, I didn't really care about the subjects I'm weak at, I neglected it instead. I only study when I feel I wanted to and I choose only a certain subjects to study depending on my mood. I used to fail my exam papers and felt really sad but then, I soon helped myself and move on to make things better. Most of all, my studies are inconsistent. And the worst part of it, I didn't care much! LIfe's pretty good and wonderful.

And as of now, I thought I'm improving myself, but yet the outcomes is not as good as I expected it to be. I must admit that recently, I've been studying a bit hard (as compared to before), I went to college in the morning since I can't study at home ( blame the bed, it's so attractive..can't resist it ). I spent more time studying subjects that I'm weak at hoping that I can improve it. Honestly, I'm a bit frustrated with myself. Not exactly myself, I don't really know who should I blame. Is it myself who's not working hard enough? Maybe it's not enough I guess. Sometimes I feel really tired and exhausted. It seems as if I didn't put any efforts on improving myself. And I do realised that no one can help me except myself. It's even more stressful when I keep comparing myself to other people and how I wish I could be as brilliant as them. I wish I could absorb all the knowledge faster. People keep saying that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others as our abilities are different.

I always keep saying to myself not to give up and keep on trying. I know that if we never give up and always put efforts, we'll succeed. I'll always remember my mum's advice, she said that the most important thing is effort, and of course, pray so God will help us.

Sorry Mr Derick, my blog this time sounds depressing and not so academic. But I guess I just need to let out my feelings. Besides, I don't have any more any ideas what to write this week.